Felice Mastrippolito

Here’s a dude that came to America by himself when he was 14. He was born before 1900. He built a mushroom empire with his own giant bare hands.

There was something about his old-world wisdom, something inherent in occupying the role of patriarch.

Below are some things he used to say.

“Don’t let anything grow on your face that grows wild on your ass,” – when speaking about facial hair.

“You can always get another girlfriend/wife, but you only get one mother,” – when speaking about taking sides in an argument between your mother and your girlfriend/wife

“I never saw a bald-headed jackass,” – when teased about his baldness.

“If you don’t get old, you don’t live very long.” – on aging gracefully.

“No, I’m half left.” – when asked if he was all right.

“Only one thing can make water go uphill: money.” – when talking about things that are expensive, and/or impossible

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